everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
