he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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