only if we run a train.
done.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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