Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We named our party play list daddy issues
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
