...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
