that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
