Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
