I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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