Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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