Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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