i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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