I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
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Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
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The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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