oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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