Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
