I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
