but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
