Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
