Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize