The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
