kristin has been a bad kristin
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
The air taste purple.
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