I looked at my own cervix.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize