Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
