my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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