these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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