shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
there is glitter all over my balls
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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