they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
