I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
