talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize