yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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