My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
