He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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