Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
your thong is hanging out like whoa
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
