I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
