she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He kissed a someone with a penis
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You're like the curious george of whores
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
How external is "for external use only"?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
