remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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