It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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