Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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