I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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