Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
