For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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