I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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