He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
