u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
