Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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