I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
This is the high leading the old right now
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Randomize
