You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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