I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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