i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
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me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
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My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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