don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
