I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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