The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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