I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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