bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
zippers are such a cool invention
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We need to get me chipped asap
Your penis caused this!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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