You're my little dorito
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
