Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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