I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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