dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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