Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My vagina just recognized that song.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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