can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
