she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
