How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Randomize