just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
