Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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