im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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