You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize