So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
