Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
