I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She's the barista slut.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
