Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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