don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
