a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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