I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
